*content warning* please be advised this article contains discussion of trauma, dissociation, triggers, flashbacks, repressed trauma, assault, depression, abuse and recommendation of deep internal work that may bring up some buried emotions and memories. please read at your own discretion.

significant events that happen in our life are stored within our mind as memories.

some memories spark joy and fulfilment when we recall them,

but other memories involve less pleasant emotions, so we may try to consciously avoid thinking about them.

however, repressed memories are memories that we unconsciously forget.

these memories generally involve deeply distressing emotions, or some kind of trauma, and they are not consciously felt at all.

this defence mechanism, known as repression, is our minds way of protecting us against traumatic events.

we can’t exactly remember what happened to us, yet we can still feel them within our body.

today we go over 20 signs that may be apparent if we have repressed trauma.

20 signs of repressed trauma

please know that symptoms of repressed trauma will looks different for everyone, as everyones trauma and journeys are different.

these are just 20 signs that i have noticed through personal experience and with talking to the people closest to me.

denial

when we deny experiences or an event even happened to us, it may never actually register in our consciousness.

sometimes when something is so traumatic and distressing to us, our mind won’t let a memory form, this is when denial may occur.

denial helps us avoid remembering and confronting our painful memories and emotions.

we may minimise its impact on us, or refuse to even acknowledge the trauma, by blocking out the memories to protect us from emotional pain.

forgetting

this symptom may be confusing and extremely overwhelming to us, as we may not have any remembrance of an event or experiences.

the forgotten memories may resurface when something later in life triggers our recollection – through flashbacks, triggers or other symptoms.

however, this could be due to our brain unconsciously repressing the memory, us consciously burying it, or we simply forgot about it.

this is another way our mind blocks out distressing memories to protect us from emotional pain and helps us avoid overwhelming feelings.

persistent anxiety or panic attacks

sometimes unresolved trauma and emotional pain may manifest within as excessive fear, panic or worry.

our body may react to repressed trauma with physical symptoms like panic attacks or excessive anxiety.

this is when we experience anxiety or panic attacks without a clear stimulus.

the trauma buried within our subconscious can create a heightened stress response, causing us to be hypervigilant.

this heightened state of alertness makes us feel like something bad is going to happen, even if there is no actual threat.

struggle with trusting others

one of the biggest signs i had of repressed trauma, was struggling with trusting people, particularly those who were close to me.

this can be a sign of past experiences of betrayal, hurt, harm, or loss, that can all create deep, painful emotional scars.

the subconscious mind may protect us by causing suspicion or fear toward others, even if we don’t consciously remember the trauma.

this lack of trust in others makes it difficult for us to form safe, comfortable and secure relationships due to unresolved pain.

i have an in-depth article on how to heal trust issues after trauma if this is something you are struggling with.

new perspective

sometimes memories we are already aware of might make more sense or take on different meanings later in life.

we may discover these new understandings of what happened to us during therapy, as we gain life experience, from a person, book, ect.

we may become distressed by this realisation when we discover the significance of this memory that we didn’t previously consider traumatic.

this happened to me when i was explaining an experience i went through to my psychologist just like a normal conversation.

he had to stop me and tell me that this was actually assault and it wasn’t until then i realised the severity of what happened.

sleep issues or sleep disturbances 

sometimes we may experience sleep issues or disturbances due to unresolved repressed trauma or emotional pain.

these can include insomnia, nightmares, sleep paralysis, vivid recurring dreams, extreme fatigue, restless sleeps.

these sleeping difficulties may be due to our subconscious minds trying to process our repressed memories.

this type of sleep anxiety and stress can prevent us from having the rest our bodies need for true healing.

when i was in the stage of denial after my traumatic experience, i couldn’t fall asleep at night, and when i did i would wake up to nightmares.

this was because i pretended like nothing happened, i didn’t even accept or acknowledge the assault took place for months after i happened (suppression).

i have an in-depth article on how to quiet the mind before sleep if this is something you are struggling with.

low self-esteem and self-worth

the way we perceptive, respect and view ourself plays a vital role in our healing journey’s, as we have confidence in ourself and our abilities.

low self-esteem or self-worth may be a sign of repressed trauma that leads to internalised feelings of inadequacy due to past experiences.

even if we don’t consciously remember the experience/s, unresolved trauma can cause us to believe we are unworthy, unloveable, flawed, ect.

this is very personal to me, as it was a symptom that affected me deeply after my trauma.

my self esteem dropped to an all time low due to my repressed trauma and i didn’t even know it in the time being – you are not alone.

having flashbacks

flashbacks can be described as bursts of remembering past memories, but they can be so vivid that it feels like we are re-living the traumatic experience/s.

flashbacks can also come in the form of triggers. this is where a stimuli evokes our brain of a past memory and our body reacts.

when our subconscious mind is trying to process our repressed memories, it sometimes causes those memories to resurface unexpectedly and unwillingly.

if you are struggling with flashbacks or they are causing difficulties in your life or mental health, i advise you to please consider speaking to a mental health or health professional.

dissociation

a common coping mechanism for severe trauma, is dissociation, or disconnection from ourself or our surroundings.

our mind attempts to separate us from the intense pain and distress the traumatic event/s caused.

this can result in having memory gaps from the trauma, feeling numb and distant, or feeling as though we are detached from our body.

this was a massive sign in my personal journey. there were times where i would have to lay in the back seat of my car because i felt so numb and disconnected.

i have an in-depth article on signs and strategies to overcome dissociation if this is something you are struggling with.

difficulty with intimacy

to protect us against potential pain or harm, our body creates a defence mechanism to avoid intimacy.

this can be a sign of repressed trauma as our past emotional wounds can cause a fear of vulnerability or closeness.

it may cause us to create barriers to forming deep, trusting connections, even if we don’t consciously recognise it.

also, unresolved trauma can cause us to struggle forming or maintaining close relationships (especially romantic ones).

this intimacy avoidance lasted 2 years in my life, it was something that affected me big time.

but with internal work and boundaries i was able to heal it – so if you are currently struggling with this please know that it is possible to heal.

avoidance

this can be when we avoid certain places, people, scents, activities, films, ect.

if we go out of our way to avoid certain things that make us feel uncomfortable, without any obvious reason, then it may be connected to repressed trauma.

our bodies resort to avoidance to make us stay clear of situations, places, people, or activities that could potentially trigger painful memories.

our body creates this defence mechanism to prevent us from confronting our unresolved trauma and emotional pain.

this avoidance makes it harder for us to heal as it often reinforces the repression of our trauma.

feeling stuck or lost in life

repressed trauma can make us feel stuck or lost in life, affecting our personal growth and decision making.

the trauma buried within our subconscious, can create a sense of disconnection or confusion of our purpose in life.

as our mind is preoccupied with unresolved pain and trauma, it makes it difficult for us to move forward.

this can look like, just going through the motions of living, having trouble breaking negative cycles or life patterns, feeling lost or disconnected.

sometimes we may even unconsciously recreate situations (in relationships or career choices, ect), similar to our original trauma.

i have an in-depth article on how to find yourself – feeling lost after trauma, if this is something you are struggling with.

physical symptoms

physical symptoms may appear without a clear medical cause, due to our body’s attempt to cope with our repressed trauma and emotions.

our body may respond to our mind holding onto our trauma, by creating physical discomfort as a way of expressing our distress.

this may look like: tense or aching muscles, headaches, migraines, unexplained pain, fatigue, stomach issues, digestive issues, ect.

self sabotaging or destructive behaviour

sometimes repression of trauma can cause behavioural changes within us as a way of coping.

it can leads us to unconsciously undermining our own well-being causing us to act in self-sabotaging or destructive behaviour.

these behavioural changes can include us engaging in procrastination, addiction, toxic relationships, or ‘unhealthy’ coping mechanisms.

we may also engage in compulsive behaviours (excessive work, shopping, eating, exercising, ect) as a way to distract ourself from this underlying pain.

if you have read any of my other articles you would know this affected my life immensely. after my experience i completely changed who i once was.

emotionally numb or distant

we may experience difficulty feeling our emotions, or confused to what we are actually feeling.

our mind can shut down certain emotions to protect us against overwhelming pain and distressing feelings related to the trauma.

this temporary relief prevents our healing, and it can lead to long term disconnection from ourself and others.

i have an in-depth article on how to be aware of your emotions after trauma, if this is something you are struggling with.

unexplained emotional reactions

when we don’t process or acknowledge our trauma, we can experience unexplained emotional reactions.

these emotional outbursts are our mind’s way of expressing the repressed feelings within.

it can cause us to react intensely to situations without understanding or knowing why.

mood swings and emotional instability

repressed trauma can create internal tension that disrupts our emotional regulation, which can cause emotional instability or mood swings.

as our mind struggles to cope with our buried pain, it may shift between intense feelings of sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, ect.

these unpredictable (and very confusing) emotional responses can be a result of having trauma that hasn’t been processed.

one second we can be going through our day and feeling fine, to suddenly feeling overwhelmed or down without any clear reason.

we may also have difficulty regulating our emotions.

it can feel like our emotions take over and we are unable to manage them effectively.

confusion or problems with memory

this is another defence mechanism our body creates to help us avoid confronting our distressing memories or emotions.

our mind may block out our painful memories, causing confusion or problems memory.

as our brain tries to protect itself, the trauma can create a mental fog, leading to difficulty recalling important information or focusing.

difficulty trusting own perception

this difficulty trusting our own perceptions goes hand in hand with confusion and self doubt.

our mind has the ability to distort, repress or suppress our memories, making it hard for us to trust our own perceptions at times.

this can cause an internal conflict within that can lead us to questioning what actually happened or feeling unsure about our experiences.

this can be due to our trauma preventing a clear understanding and trusting ourself.

alot of people i have spoken to ask me “do you sometimes second guess yourself? like did it even happen?”.

i am here to tell you i went through this, you are not alone. please trust yourself and don’t let others minimise the trauma you went through.

depression

repressed trauma may manifest in our bodies as depression, a persistent sadness, loss of interest, hopelessness, and disinterest in life.

although our subconscious mind repressed our trauma, the pain can still affect our mood, mental health and energy levels.

please remember that you are not alone, and help is available. taking the first step towards seeking support can make a huge difference.

depression can be overwhelming, but there are people who care and want to help you.

i advise you to please consider speaking to a mental health, health professional, a trusted friend or family member.

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i would like to add two other symptoms of repressed trauma that affected me on my journey, so they might be apparent in yours too.

my skin.

i suppressed my trauma (i consciously minimised it, pushed it to the back of my mind and acted like nothing happened), so to the outside perspective, it was like nothing ever happened.

i changed everything about me with the way i dressed, acted, career, friend group, personality, ect – but i was a teenager so it was easily mistaken as “teenage phase”.

as i didn’t acknowledge or process my trauma, my body didn’t know how to deal with all this stress, fear and pain within, so it showed on the outside.

my skin became really bad due to this internalised stress, and although i can’t find any evidence that stress causes spots, when i began my deep internal work of processing my trauma, my skin began to clear up.

struggle to talk to certain people

due to my suppression and then repression of my trauma, my body struggled to talk to people of the same age and gender as my abuser.

i had a slight inkling of why i felt this way (immense fear, unease, unsafe and extremely uncomfortable), but i didn’t do anything to help it.

i cannot explain the feeling within me when i had to speak to a person that reminded my body of my experience, but it was a clear sign to me that i had underlining trauma i needed to work on.

gentle reminder

please note that if you have any of these signs, it doesn’t mean you 100% have repressed trauma, but also if you don’t have any of these signs, it doesn’t mean you don’t have repressed trauma.

everyone is different, everyones journey is different – trauma is experienced and dealt with differently in everyone.

recognising the signs of repressed trauma is the first step towards healing – and as you read this, you are already on your journey.

it is so, so important to remember that you are not alone – many people face similar struggles, and there is support available for you.

the deep, internal work and effort you put into understanding and healing from your trauma will help you immensely on your journey.

please be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate through this process.

healing takes time, effort and patience, but with each step, you are moving closer to a healthier, more fulfilling life.

you are amazing 🤍

-mao

don’t give trauma the power to control you, you deserve to live how you want. take control of your trauma.

-life advice from one survivor to another