*content warning* please be advised this article contains discussion of trauma, triggers, coping mechanisms and recommendation of deep internal work that may bring up some buried emotions and memories. please read at your own discretion.

goal setting is crucial in trauma healing as it can support our wellbeing and help us create a new mindset for who we want to become.

goals = where we currently are, where we want to go and how we’re going to get there.

the goals we set in our life are similar to the navigation maps we put on to get to a new place we’re visiting.

we need to have an idea of where we want to go in life (aspirations), so we can have a visualisation (goal) and we can create a roadmap (steps/system).

how to set goals – strategies and steps

when we set effective goals, it is important we use a combination of strategy and motivation.

this is when we have a long term vision and have short term motivation.

it’s a plan for our future – what do we want to achieve? are we doing enough? are we stagnant? what actions can we take that direct us towards our aspirations and lifes purpose?

setting goals: the steps before

“goals can be thought as statements that empower and motivate us into action”

creating goals can completely change our healing journeys, ultimately transforming our lives.

let’s get into some steps and strategies we can use when learning to set goals in our life.

identifying what we want

we need to identify what we truly, genuinely wish to achieve in life.

we can identify our wishes, wants, dreams and aspirations, by questioning ourself.

we need to ask ourself questions in a quiet and safe place to allow our true self to answer from deep within our core (our subconscious).

journaling (prompts below), mindfulness, meditation body scans, freewriting with no filter, art, music, creative expression or body movement.

journal prompts to help us identify

it is important to remove judgements so we can write whatever comes to our mind freely and without any pressure.

here are some prompts for inspiration when wanting to set goals in life.

“if i were to talk to my 100 year old self, what would be their first questions?”

“if i didn’t have any worries about failing or being judged, what would be the first thing i’d do?”

“i feel most alive and like my true authentic self when i…”

“what are important values and beliefs in my life that i wish to continue?”

“something that has always caught my eye and i’ve been curious about…”

i have 10 deep journal prompts (free to download) for trauma healing here if you would like inspiration.

reflecting on what we need in the present time

we tend to want to jump into changing everything in our life, all at once, as soon as we have a source inspiration,

but instead of jumping straight into all of the big changes, goals and life aspirations, we should first ask ourself,

–what do i feel i need help with to make me feel more safe, supported and stable in my journey?

–what can help me release and express my emotions, thoughts and feelings?

–what is one thing i can do for myself today to show compassion and kindness?

–what is something small i can do today that will help bring meaning or a sense of direction into my life?

–what coping mechanisms and self soothing techniques can i try out?

-what are my priorities? – write a list in order so i know where to begin my focus

these can be absolutely anything – from getting more rest, more time for social connection, setting boundaries, daily body movement, seeing a therapist or more time for my project.

our positive and uplifting mindset

our mindset is ever, ever so important when it comes to setting and achieving goals within our healing journey.

i truly believe when i changed my mindset to a more positive and encouraging and hold self belief, my healing completely transformed.

please note that having a positive mindset does not mean we ignore the pain or tougher times,

we still feel and sit with these harder emotions and times, but we do it with self belief and in ourself and our growth.

cultivating self compassion

healing isn’t linear, so the way we treat and talk to ourself plays a key role when we are faced with adversity and obstacles when working towards our goals.

a foundational aspect of effective goal setting during our trauma healing journey is being kind to ourselves when things don’t go as planned.

we will have good days, and we will have bad days — this is completely normal and okay.

i have a full in-depth article on the powerful role self compassion plays in our trauma healing journey, if you’d like to read about it.

set a limit of achievable goals to focus on

i recommend focusing on 1 to 2 goals at a time.

this way we can avoid unnecessary overwhelm, stress or ‘failure’, and are able to stay more motivated, consistent and actually enjoy the process.

we don’t want to set too many goals all at once, as this may cause us to put them off all together.

ofcourse we can have multiple long-term goals we want to achieve within our lifetime, but for shorter term goals, i suggest keeping a limit.

our brain actually struggles to focus and make clear decisions when we have multiple goals, changes and decisions to make.

break goals down into steps and systems

when we have all of these big, strenuous goals, it can feel overwhelming, especially during our journey when healing from trauma.

to avoid this overwhelm, i suggest identifying 1 to 2 areas that we are wanting to nurture or change,

then, we can define small actions that are tied to each area, so we can follow steps to create a system to work towards achieving our goals.

example:

my big intention: “i want to trust and reconnect with myself again”

my doable action: “before i go to bed, i will spend 5 minutes journaling”

my steps: “i will journal in my bed (as that’s my safe place), and at the same time each day to create a habit”

my system: “within time i will open up and be more vulnerable, allowing me to reconnect to myself and proving i can trust myself again”

focus on the process over the outcome

when we focus on our process rather than fixating on the outcome, we put our focus on what is in our control, not what we can’t control.

this can help us when we are faced with obstacles or setbacks within our journey with working towards our goals.

i suggest setting process goals, (these are the steps, that make up the system, to reach our big end goal).

personalisation of our goals

once we have our goals we need to be able to personalise them into positive statements and affirmations.

whatever our goals may be, we need to personalise them into statements that compliment and include our abilities, behaviours and characteristics.

our personality, characteristics and attributes are engraved within us, they’re what makes us who we are.

yes, we can change, but that will take conscious effort, energy and time.

it becomes harder to give up on our goals when we personalise them to fit around the person we are,

my goal for mao could have been “i want to create a website from scratch to help trauma survivors navigate their way through their healing journey“

instead, my goal was, “i am an individual who loves to write and express my ideas in creative ways. my purpose is to help others in life, but i also appreciate my social connections, health and passions. i am going to spend three days a week on my website to help those who need it on their healing journey.”

writing our goals onto paper

once we identify what we want, we must then write it down. it is so, so, so important to get our thoughts out of our head and put them on to paper.

when we write our goals down onto paper, put aside a certain amount of time to solely focus on creating our goal/s.

make it fun, make it creative and make sure we actually use our brains when expressing and putting our goal onto paper.

this is a visualisation of our goal,

we have now taken our internal thoughts (initial thought of our goal),

accepted that this goal is something we want in our life,

and now putting it out into the external world by using our time, energy, expression, and visualisation to creatively express and visualise our goal.

then once we have our goal in physical form, put it in a place that we are sure to look at it daily.

how? vision board, colour in bold block letters, draw doodles, be as concise as possible, add stickers and words that resonate, create a visualisation timeline, create a wallpaper for our phone – the list can go on because our creative options are endless.

setting goals: the actionable steps

strategies to help when working to achieve our goals.

affirmations

feelings and thoughts of confidence, passion, purpose, pride and love will override the negative thoughts we are feeling.

we may be full of doubt, fear of failure, criticism and little self belief, at first and this is completely normal.

i certainly was, but instead of allowing those thoughts to consume me and keep me frozen in fear from my goals, i used affirmations.

it takes time to swap out our limiting thoughts and beliefs to more encouraging and trusting thoughts, but it is worth every second in my opinion.

say affirmations daily, keep them in a place where they are always seen and say a reaffirming affirmation whenever a limiting thought arises.

visualisation

visualisation is a powerful tool when helping us with our goals, as it allows us to create positive mental images of success and healing.

this practice allows us to taps into the power of our imagination to cultivate self worth, confidence, self belief, trust and resilience. 

visualisation is a way we can imagine ourselves already at our desired outcome and goal.

we can see ourself at our goal, feel how we would feel if we had already completed it, act the way we would, speak the way we would, ect.

showing up despite not knowing

we must learn to show up when we don’t feel ‘ready’, when we aren’t 100% sure what we are doing and when we aren’t ‘perfect’.

the truth is, we will probably never feel 100% ready, because beginning is scary and our mind doesn’t like uncertainty.

but when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone and show up despite the doubt or not feeling ready, our next steps become less intimidating.

most successful people say something along the lines of, ‘just begin, then you’ll figure the rest out on the way’.

use our coping mechanism framework

we need to find effective coping mechanisms that work for our bodies and use them as a framework in our life.

coping strategies provide us with healthy tools to manage our emotions, stress and any setbacks we have in our journey, especially when working towards our goals.

i have an in-depth article on how to develop coping strategies healing from trauma, here if you would like to read it.

the importance of our self talk

how we speak to ourself about our goals is so important.

we need to talk in a way that is uplifting, encouraging and supportive.

what we say to ourselves day and day out is ultimately what we believe, whether it’s what we believe consciously or unconsciously.

meditation or mindful moments

engaging in mindfulness and meditation gives us time to connect with everything within ourself, and with the present moment. 

it is important for us to try out new techniques to be able to find what works best for us, to help us connect with our body and build resilience.

this time to ourself makes it abit easier to sit with, understand and process our true needs to set goals that align with our healing, not our trauma.

setting routines and rituals

having daily rituals or routines in our life can create a sense of stability, structure, and self trust, all aspects that support our goals.

having routines makes it easier for us to stay focused, motivated, and consistent as we have set times or days to work towards our goals.

i have an in-depth article on how to create routines in life after trauma here if you would like to read it.

gaining habits

habits create consistency, momentum, and discipline in our life when working towards our goals.

these are important aspects in helping us rebuild trust, and the belief in our ability that we can follow through.

gratitude

begin to take note of what is going well in life, what we love, what we are proud of, what we grateful for, our progress, growth – anything to be happy and grateful about!

here is the link if you’d like to read the full article on how gratitude can be powerful in our trauma healing journeys.

breaks, reset and daily movement

it is important for us to break up the day to stay motivated and inpsired and to give ourself rest inbetween tasks or goals.

taking breaks, resetting, and incorporating daily movement are crucial for preventing burnout and maintaining balance in our healing journey.

we must give our mind and body the space to recharge, reset and refocus.

this allows us realign with our goals and emotions to help us stay consistent and motivated.

self reflection

it is important for us to self reflect on our journey regularly to be able to adjust when necessary.

our healing journey, goals and everyday life scenarios will constantly be changing and shifting.

what felt important to us one month ago may change the next month, so it is important for us to check in with our goals every few weeks or so.

examples:

–do my goals align with my values and needs?

–what should i let go of or change to positively impact and promote my healing journey?

–are there any obstacles or setbacks i have encountered? what can i learn or have i learnt from them?

–how is working on my goal/s impacting my healing and life?

please know that flexibility is a part of healing, it does not mean it’s a failure.

celebrate achievements

we need to be sure to celebrate our achievements, no matter how ‘small’ they may seem.

this needs to be a priority of ours, as this can help reinforce a sense of progress and growth, helping us focus on what we’ve accomplished.

this can help our self esteem and self belief, whilst keeping up our motivation, dedication and persistence.

reaching out for support

reaching out to others can provide accountability and encouragement for us when setting and working towards our goals.

having support can help us stay motivated, offer different perspectives during setbacks or challenges, and remind us that we aren’t alone.

connecting with others can make our goals feel more achievable and help strengthen our resilience.

seek professional help

seeking professional help can provide us with valuable guidance and tools that are specifically tailored to your needs, healing and goals. 

i highly advise you to seek professional help from a trained mental health or health professional 

– a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or any trained professional of that sorts.

all of the information and strategies i am providing you with today is purely from personal experience and it should never constitute professional advice and should not be relied upon as such.

importance of goals

• helps us regain a sense of control

• effective time management

• great for motivation to keep us driven and hold belief in ourself

• helps us build structure and stability

• allows us to track and measure our progress

• it gives us a direction in our healing

• improves our decision making skills

• helps build confidence for our future

• helps our organisation skills

• holds us accountable

• enables us to step outside of our comfort zone, promoting our personal growth

• supports our emotional and mental healing

• allows us to make progress without being stuck in the perfectionism stage

what holds people back

• setbacks

• fear of failure

• self criticism

• fear of judgement

• limiting self belief – not believing in our abilities

• overthinking

• perfectionism

• inaction or lack of clarity

• procrastination

• lack of support

• self doubt

• burnt out