one of the most important skills to have in life is to be aware of your emotions, (emotional awareness), in my opinion.

you will gain knowledge and tools to help process and regulate your emotions so you can implement this skill in your own journey.

this article goes over everything emotional awareness to help you develop this essential life skill.

lets begin how you can become aware of your emotions to help you process and regulate them.

what is emotional awareness?

emotional awareness is a way to describe a persons ability to recognise, process, understand and effectively regulate emotions.

having awareness means you are aware of a certain situation.

you have an understanding and some knowledge towards something that is happening.

emotional is, yep you guessed it, related to someone’s emotions. these can be your emotions or someone else’s.

emotions can be described as really really strong feelings (as your feelings stem from your emotions).

and your emotions are often caused and driven by your thoughts.

so together, emotional awareness is having the ability to be able to recognise your emotions and other peoples emotions, then be able to make sense of them.

pretty much – when you begin to feel a certain emotion, you know what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling this way. 

with other people, you’re able to sense their emotions and depending on the emotion sensed, you are able to empathise with them.

you may find when you become emotionally aware, you have the ability to make decisions that are actually in your best interest.

this is due to you understanding the connection between how your feelings influence your actions.

our emotions determine how we feel (our feelings), as our feelings are influenced from emotional experiences we go through.

that being said, it is pretty much just one big loop.

if you want to feel good, you have to be able to get on top of your emotions.

this is because happiness doesn’t depend on external environments, happiness comes from within, (mainly your thoughts)

please know that it’s completely normal and actually very common to not understand your emotions, how to manage them, or how to express them.

hopefully you can understand yourself abit better and make sense of your emotions after reading this article.

honestly the feeling (no pun intended), of being able to understand yourself and your emotions is truly unmatched.

i am sharing my journey with you so you too can feel this amazing feeling of being able to grow your emotional awareness.

importance of emotional awareness

our emotions are soo so sooo important in our relationships with ourselves and others.

(not to mention they also influence and impact how we chose to live our lives).

our emotions help navigate where we go in life

– from the motivation we have to go after our life choices, to helping us decide how we want to spend our time. 

our emotions are so essential with helping us create meaning to how we live, including the relationship we have with ourselves.

but it is also necessary for connecting us to people, so we are able to form relationships with them.

what is an emotion?

i just want to quickly touch base on what emotional development is, as it starts in infancy and continues all the way into adulthood.

an emotion is comprised into 4 components:

1 – a physical response – heart rate increases, stomach turns, sweaty palms

these are feelings that a child learns to recognise and can begin to name.

example: (i am beginning to feel all warm and my breathing is also picking up abit – i must be feeling happy)

2 – certain thoughts or judgements they have associated with particular emotions. 

example: (i was under the impression from a young age that, if i cry i am weak)

3 – action signals – what do we do to comfort our particular emotion.

(example: cry when we’re sad, jump up and down when we’re excited, ect)

4 – our emotional development builds on our social development.

– this is when a child learns to not only recognise feelings, but also be able to express them. 

as we grow and develop, we have to learn to adapt our strategies we use to manage our emotions.

this is because the things that once used to evoke/provoke our emotional responses change as we grow.

now this is vital when we have gone through trauma of any sorts, as trauma can significantly impact our emotions directly.

we want to make decisions that create the best outcomes in our lives, so this is where emotional awareness comes in handy.

how trauma affects emotional regulation

trauma can significantly impact your emotions, meaning it can affect your emotional awareness in serval ways too.

trauma impacts everyone different, so how it effects one person may not be the same for you.

as said above, when we have gone through trauma of any sorts, it can significantly impact our emotions directly.

in fact, trauma has the power to affect our emotions unconsciously.

this means certain reactions, feelings and emotions can arise without us being conscious aware of where they stem from.

this is because trauma can alter your brain chemistry and make your brain function differently.

it can alter your brain by changing your brains response to emotional stimuli and stress.

an emotional stimuli can be either internal or external and can include things like a trigger, behavioural or physical change, ect.

*not everyones brain is altered due to trauma, but i want you to gain the most knowledge as possible so i included this information*

importance of understanding your emotions

most of us know that maintaining a healthy emotional and physical well-being is so important in life.

being able to understand and regulate your emotions is the key to this.

addressing your emotional responses is crucial in your healing journey.

it can help you understand and process any underlying pain, and help you respond to triggers you may have in a healthier, more balanced way.

improving your emotional awareness ultimately helps create a pathway for your trauma recovery journey, whilst building your resilience.

when you understand your feelings, it allows you to release built up or suppressed emotions which is very important in trauma recovery.

please note ** neglect or inconsistent parenting can disrupt your emotional skills, aswell as trauma or mental health issues.

often, people who have experienced any type of trauma may find they have a tendency to disconnect theirselves from their emotions and feelings.

unfortunately, when you go out of your way to avoid certain feelings, (discomfort, pain, ect), you can be unintentionally causing your emotions to become twisted and distorted.

and this can cause you to lose touch and control of your emotions – as for the importance of confronting and processing your emotions **

sometimes it is out of our control that we don’t fully know how to control our emotions or take responsibility for the emotions we feel.

either because we never learnt or developed emotional awareness, or because we underwent trauma – so please, don’t be hard on yourself!

instead, lets heal and learn how we can process and regulate our emotions to manage them accordingly so we don’t feel as overwhelmed.

i mean, take it from me.

i am here as proof that you can indeed teach yourself and rewire your brain to develop an understanding of your emotions and ultimately, become an emotionally aware individual.

so, lets learn how to increase your emotional awareness by being able to process, understand and regulate your emotions.

benefits of regulating emotions

when we are aware of our emotions and feelings, we are able to identify and stay on the right path to reaching our goals. 

it allows us to adapt so we can overcome challenges we face, and we can manage stressful times a bit better.

we can think creatively, critically and clearly, both independently or in a group setting.

we are able to communicate well with other people to help navigate around potential conflict (helpful if you’re anxiously attached in relationships).

it helps us maintain curiosity in our life, and because of this curiosity, it then helps open up new possibilities and opportunities in our life.

oh i could honestly keep going on and on about the benefits, but i think you get the idea of why it is so important!

the best thing about emotional awareness is (on top of all those amazing things i mentioned just above), that it’s a skill, meaning it can be learned.

don’t let me misguide you here, it can indeed be learned by anyone, but, you have to be willing to put in the hard work.

it does take alot of effort and you must have patience and be kind to yourself.

how to develop emotional awareness

self reflection

i seriously cannot talk about self reflection enough.

the benefits self reflection has on our healing, learning and growing journey is truly insane.

self reflection, self control, self monitoring, self awareness, self consciousness

– there are a few ways you may have heard that describe this form of learning, (the form that i believe is the key to learning).

when you are learning anything in life, you need to engage in and practise self reflection.

and as you’re learning now (remember, emotional awareness is a skill that you’re learning), you need to step back and reflect.

by reflecting you’re able to develop your skills and analyse their effectiveness.

how we learn in everyday life scenarios, is by experiencing a range of different emotions and contexts that are driven by our abstract thinking, curiosity and creativity. 

then from these emotions and circumstances experienced, we process this new knowledge (or skill), and make connections based on our understanding and personal experience. 

and funnily enough, to be able to acquire this knowledge and skill, we need to observe and communicate with others.

i am beginning to notice that certain things in life are a chain reaction, and this is a prime example of one.

lets see some strategies you can give a try to help your emotional awareness through self reflection.

list of feelings

having a visual of your most common feelings can help with learning how your feelings are linked back to your emotions.

when you’re able to acknowledge what you’re feeling, you can then figure out what they are trying to tell you. 

every emotion we feel is created by our brain.

this is our brains way of giving meaning to the things we feel, see, hear, smell and touch. 

-> our bodies sense something ->

our brain then gives meaning to that sense by creating an emotion in response to it ->

our emotions are then felt ->

and that is when we begin to process them to formulate feelings.

the annoying thing (or beautiful thing – depending how you look at it), about our conscious brains for many of us, myself included, is that it would prefer to keep the actual cause of our emotions out of our awareness.

the reason for this? it is part of our defence/coping mechanisms.

everyone uses unconscious defence mechanisms, as a way to cope with your emotions and feelings.

these coping mechanisms help decrease our stress internally.

(further down this article we have a part specifically for managing stress).

what do i mean by “out of our awareness” or “unconscious”??

– what i mean by this is sometimes, people genuinely have no idea that their minds are using these defence mechanisms.

this is just extra proof to why it is completely normal to not understand why you’re feeling certain ways at times.

remember: recognise, learn and then understand the message behind your feelings.

and yes, sorry to say this, but the hard, difficult and uncomfortable feelings too.

this is your first step in becoming aware of what your emotions truly are, and beginning to process them.

be kind to all of your emotions

once you have an understanding of your feelings, go out of your way to create a friendship with all of your underlying emotions.

you need to learn how you can safely direct your emotional experiences into healthy ways.

and you can do this by reconnecting with all of the core emotions you feel.

what this means is actually feel the emotions, allow them to flow through you.

don’t suppress, repress or escape from the emotions and feelings felt.

some core emotions include:

sadness, anger, fear, disgust, enjoyment, sexual excitement, anticipation, jealously, guilt

listen to your body

i think one of the simplest, yet sometimes forgotten about ways to learn emotional awareness, is by listening to your body.

emotions are indeed created in your mind, but there is such thing called the mind-body connection.

this is when you have a strong emotion, you can more times than not, also feel it in your body somewhere through physical sensations.

for me:

excited – heart races

anxious – sweaty palms

happy – toes move

sad – bottom lip quivers

your body is constantly giving you little clues to what emotions you may be feeling.

when you pay close attention to the physical sensations happening in your body, you may find you’re able to learn and understand your emotions clearer (i.e – gain awareness over them)

developing resilience is key in your trauma healing journey.

resilience helps you to bounce back from challenges or set backs you may encounter along the way and face them with a more positive mindset.

resilience also helps you adapt to stress and empowers you when learning how to manage difficult emotions.

a great way to build resilience is through practising self compassion.

self compassion

to have compassion means you want to help someone because you understand a persons feelings or perhaps even relate to them. 

a compassionate person is someone who is motivated to help relieve pain another person could be feeling, as they have genuine sympathy for them.

all self compassion is, is doing those things above, like you would to your friends or family, but to yourself – especially in time of need.

many people practise self compassion in their lives, but sometimes we discard it when we actually need it the most.

these are in the instances where we are suffering, in pain, were rejected, when we didn’t succeed at something or are struggling.

i like to think of self compassion as a gorgeous, gentle reminder.

it is just like how your phone sends you a reminder, in the form of a notification, to remind you to do something.

well, this is your personal reminder that you are there for yourself, even through these tough times.

self compassion shows you’re willing to pick yourself up, dust off any negative thoughts or insecurities you may have, put yourself back on your feet, find your bearings again, and support yourself to continue on.

by doing so you’re affirming to yourself over and over, that you are actually present when these tougher emotions and feelings arise in you, and you’re there to help yourself work through them.

affirmations are a huge help when learning self compassion

this was one aspect that took me a while to get the hang of, but once i did, it did me wonders in my self growth journey.

managing stress

one of the attributes to having emotional awareness, is being able to manage and relieve stress when you are experiencing it.

you need to develop specific tools that allows you to manage your stress effectively and efficiently, whilst in the moment that it’s happening.

i have mentioned before in the ‘why do i get triggered‘ article, we sometimes don’t know when and what will trigger an emotional response from us, especially in the time of stressful situations.

sometimes we don’t have the resources, opportunities or time to do what you would usually do to help regulate your body to get back into balance and gain calmness again. 

(example; going for a run, punching the boxing bag, having a cup of tea – just anything you tend to do after a stressful time to help regulate your body)

if you struggle to understand and manage your emotions then you may find you often do and say things in the spare of the moment, yet feel regret or guilt almost immediately after, or later on.

when you’re unable to manage stress, you may find your emotions tend to overwhelm you and you can resort to blame, either other people, situations, yourself or environments. 

of course the people or environments you surround yourself can have an influence, or could be an explanation to why you feel a certain way, but the matter of fact is –

the source of stress is from within, it is internal.

i mentioned that our conscious mind likes to hide our true emotions from our awareness at times, and as a result, it is a big cause of stress.

but luckily, this is when emotional awareness can come and help.

emotional awareness can allow you to reduce stress quickly, as you have confidence in yourself that you will stay in control and keep calm during these stressful times. 

that is why, once you,

1. understand the feelings you feel and the emotions behind them, 

2. reconnect and create a relationship with all your emotions and,

3. practise self compassion and truly believe you always have your back when times get tough,

you will be able to manage your stress and stressful times a lot smoother and better. 

to remove the cause of stress in your life, you must be willing to fully let go and surrender the emotions/feelings associated with the stressful memory.

(please note that you may still struggle at times as there are some things we don’t have much control over, but you will get better in redirecting yourself back to your analytical mindset of how you can help the feelings you may be feeling). 

**also note how i use the word “better” instead of “easier”, i did this on purpose as i find many people tend to say, “with practise it will get easier”, but in my case it wasn’t per se “easier”.

it’s just that i have just gotten better at it because i am used to it.

mindfulness

mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness. i bloody love it.

mindfulness pretty much involves you to be completely focused on what you’re currently feeling internally, without any judgement.

these internal experiences can include your bodily sensations, your thoughts, your feelings and emotions, or it can be actively taking in and noticing your surroundings.

i began practising mindfulness without realising it was ‘mindfulness’.

i would sit with the feeling i had and just let it be.

i wouldn’t make up excuses for it, i wouldn’t try to explain my way out of feeling it and i wouldn’t let it define me as a person.

how i like to describe mindfulness – 

i am peacefully floating in the ocean.

as i do so, waves are coming and going the entire time i am floating.

some are bigger than others, some are more powerful than others, yet all of them still pass.

to get through them without it disrupting my peace, i just need to ride the wave, and if i do so, it will pass in its own time.

hopefully that makes sense to you and it isn’t just an analogy (or metaphor, i always get muddled up with what one it can be), that only makes sense in my brain. 

but i like to think of it in this way because of the simplicity behind what i am meaning –

me = me

the waves = my feelings

the ocean = life

meaning – i am not my feelings, i am purely just witnessing them.

so if i let them pass me without trying to fight them in some way, they will leave me when they’re ready to leave.

there are many ways you can practise mindfulness, some of them being;

• journaling
• mindfulness observation
• meditation
• simply just being present and being okay with feelings in your body – pay attention
• practising self-acceptance and self compassion
• practising gratitude

would you like a 1 month journal to help you stay accountable to your goals, create healthy habits and be inspired with daily journal prompts?

if that interests you, here is the link

i noticed that the more i did this, the less time these feelings and thoughts would stay

(due to me allowing my emotions and feelings to be present, without trying to push them down or away)

by doing so, they were able to go away in their own time

now, i am able to chose where i want to direct my attention – i chose what thoughts i believe

i do so because your brain dictates what your soul believes, so don’t let those negative thoughts and emotions eat you up all day long.

and also, a big one here – please make sure you don’t judge yourself or compare yourself to others.

professional help

i highly advise you to seek professional help from a trained mental health or health professional – a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or any trained professional of that sorts.

all of the information and strategies i am providing you with today is purely from personal experience.

i am not a professional and the contents in this article are solely for general and informational purposes, it should never constitute professional advice and should not be relied upon as such.

i began to see a psychologist 2 years after my traumatic experience, as i found deep trauma wounds i couldn’t help myself heal and needed professional help.

i did a year and a half of deep self development work, by learning and healing myself and it helped immensely, but, i came to the realisation that i still had some underlying trauma i couldn’t quite navigate around by myself, so i sought help from a psychologist.

i know how daunting it is, having to go and willingly open up and be vulnerable to someone you don’t know, but it does get easier.

their professional advice, guidance and perspective can help you on your journey alot.

how understanding my emotions changed my life

it took me a long time to develop emotional awareness, as it takes a lot of practise, consistency and effort.

but with this being said, i wanted to share some of the things i found that have changed in my life and within myself after i developed emotional awareness.

(i swear it is worth all those months of putting in the hard work to learn about yourself)

• it has changed the way i think about myself – i am no longer telling myself i am weak when i cry.

i am no longer thinking i can’t do something and to give up just because i struggle at first.

i am no longer telling myself i am a lazy piece of … just because my body needed an extra day of rest.

• its influenced the way i feel and behave – as i now talk positively to myself and i have reassurance that i am here to comfort and pick myself back up

• i am finally able to set healthy boundaries – i was absolutely terrible with setting boundaries

and, if i were to set them and someone intentionally crossed them, i would just let it slip, (so it has also helped me stand up for myself)

• i now have more confidence to put myself in situations that are out of my comfort zone more often.

• i am more productive with my time.

• the people i surround myself with have said to me they feel happy and inspired when they’re around me.

• i am beginning to have deeper and vulnerable conversations with other people

i used to dodge these type of conversations at any chance i got but i am becoming more comfortable with having them now

• i am more energetic and a lot more cheerful on a day – to – day basis

of course i do have some hard days where things go wrong, or i hear bad news, but its a lot easier to get out of the negative state of mind now as i don’t overthink my feelings and emotions.

• i am more appreciative towards the smaller things in life that i used to take for granted.

now i take the time to be more aware and notice the small things, i have a lot more gratitude towards everyday scenarios.

• i can predict what other people are going to say or do

of course its not spot on every time otherwise i would be in the psychic field of work, but it is along the lines of what i predicted. 

but this has helped me a lot in my job as i am able to resolve issues more efficiently (because i already sensed something may happen)

it has also helped me in my sport, as i kind of get an inkling of what my opposition is going to do next.

i really hope you begin your journey of developing your emotional awareness because it really is an amazing skill to have.

you’ve got this, believe in yourself ❤

-MAO

don’t give trauma the power to control you, you deserve to live how you want. take control of your trauma.

-life advice from one survivor to another

you are so strong.