having no worries and enjoying everything i see.

but the following day when i have no recollection of my night.

i pray i didn’t do anything silly, and everything went alright.

the fear seeps in, and the confusing floats in my mind.

i scroll through my phone, in hopes i can find,

anything to spark my memory of how the night went.

yet the only thing found, was the amount of money spent.

it is so scary, being in such a vulnerable state.

when all i wanted to do was lift some of this weight.

–the morning after drinking away the pain

i am letting you be as free as you want to be.

encouraging you to go to the bar for your next shopping spree.

don’t worry, i’ll do exactly as you ask.

and even do one better, by painting on a mask.

you made it quite clear on why you wanted to drink.

nowadays you’ll do anything to make those memories shrink.

i want for you to learn and to grow and heal.

but it is your body, and you’d prefer not to feel.

so i’ll keep being your friend, week after week.

until the day comes, when you aren’t afraid to speak.

–alcohol as your escape