*trigger warning* within this poem there is discussion of trauma, suppression of emotions and the hard part of healing. please read at your own discretion

i used to wear a silent mask,
but aching for a soul to ask.
deep inside, the storm would roar,
a pain i couldn’t hold in no more.

my smile was stitched with quiet fear,
in hopes the hurt might disappear.
the world moved on, yet i stood still,
held hostage by the need to heal.

i read, “time will heal your broken soul,”
but time alone can’t make you whole.
you have to feel, you have to try,
to allow the buried pieces to cry.

so i began, with shaky breath,
to grieve the parts that i’d suppressed.
each memory being a quiet guest,
that knocked within my fragile chest.

it’s not a race, there’s no need to sprint,
sometimes healing means you simply sit.
by sitting still, i faced the pain,
some moments i drowned in endless rain.

i grieved the things that left so fast,
the love i craved, the chances passed.
i learned that healing moves so slow,
in quiet moments, strength will grow.

i found that rest was not defeat,
it’s fuel that helped me stand on my feet.
small breaks to breathe, to pause, to mend,
it’s important for life and healing to blend.

the healing hurt, it cracked my shell.
it broke the lies i used to tell.
each step was hard, with the road unclear,
but slowly light replaced the fear.

the nights still came with whispered doubt,
but brighter days began to sprout.
i found that broken hearts can grow,
and from the pain, new light will show.

some days i slipped, fell out of line,
but still kept walking, one step at a time.
not every scar has lost its sting,
but i now see the growth it brings.

i am not the same, but that feels right.
a patchwork soul, yet burning bright.
still learning and growing, day by day,
becoming whole along the way.

i left old beliefs and fear behind,
changed by my pain, but not defined.
the road is long, but you will see,
you’re on the way back home… to me.

mao

20/05/2025