*content and trigger warning* please be advised this article contains discussion of trauma and recommendation of deep internal work that may bring up buried emotions and memories. please read at your own discretion.

healing from trauma is an extremely personal process and it often involves us rediscovering ourselves and diving deep within to learn and grow.

a key part of our healing journeys is learning to be comfortable within our own company.

solitude at first may feel intimidating, but it can be a powerful tool for self discovery and growth.

in this article, we’ll explore how to develop peace and happiness within and actually embrace being alone during this journey of healing.

24 ways to be okay with being alone while healing from trauma

finding contentment with spending time on our own during our healing journeys is essential for our personal growth.

it gives us time to reflect and dig deep within to develop emotional processing.

this allows us to connect deeper with ourself, heal at our own pace and build a strong relationship within, through self compassion.

let’s go through ways you can find happiness with spending time alone to develop a healthier mindset towards solitude and grow resilience.

explore your interests and participate in hobbies

explore what interests you and engage in activities that you feel drawn to or curious about.

put yourself out there and try new interests, as this can help you find what you genuinely love and enjoy to do.

i found engaging in hobbies played a crucial role in becoming happy and comfortable in my own company during my healing journey.

hobbies can help you reconnect with yourself, by rebuilding a sense of purpose and discovering what truly brings you joy.

it is also a great way to promote emotional resilience, as trying something new offers opportunities for growth, lessons and achievement.

self reflection time

make sure you set time aside to be able to pause and reflect on your past and dive within.

self reflection can help us understand our emotions, gain self awareness, and respond with more compassion during our journey of healing.

it is a great way to track progress, identify areas for growth and celebrate small wins.

this time of reflection encourages self acceptance and understanding, which can make it easier to find peace in your own company.

discover what you like to nourish your body

cooking foods you enjoy helps nurture your body and promotes self care, which can create a sense of control and accomplishment.

the act of cooking and preparing your meals mindfully, connects you with the present moment.

this can bring comfort, peace, and happiness, helping you feel more at ease in your own company during your healing journey.

falling in love with cooking, baking and discovering foods that nourished my body that i actually enjoyed to eat, became a big part of my journey.

one of my favourite times i have with myself is the time i take to cook my nourishing meals and creating homemade foods.

make this time to yourself and moment exciting, as it is fun to experiment with new recipes and ingredients.

plus you can surprise yourself when the food you created from scratch actually comes out yummy.

mindfulness and creativity outlets

having times of mindfulness throughout our day, or even week, can help us process emotions, gain new perspectives and stay present.

take part in creative outlets, as these are a way to express yourself freely, (this personally helped me become comfortable in my own company).

these activities can reduce stress, promote self awareness and provide emotional expression, which can all help with inner peace and confidence.

engaging in mindfulness doesn’t have to big these massive, overwhelming or time consuming acts.

daily mindfulness for me is sitting at the beach and taking in the moment, going on my nature walk without earphones or spending 5 minutes when i wake up to be present.

creative activities can include: drawing, journaling, dancing, singing, painting, crafts, lego, photography, colouring, clay, crocheting, gardening, baking, ect.

music, podcasts, reading and education

listening to music, podcasts, educational knowledge or reading, can provide emotional support, personal growth and entertainment for us.

music can soothe and uplift us, and can be a powerful way to express emotions and create a sense of connection, comfort and safety.

podcasts and educational knowledge (audiobooks, youtube videos, courses), offer insights, purpose and fosters accomplishment.

reading can be comforting and healing, as it can expand our perspective, and be a way to connect with different ideas, experiences, and emotions.

i found books inspired my personal growth and promoted my self reflection (the right books of course).

these activities can make us feel more comfortable and empowered during our healing journey.

*quick tip* i changed my music from normal pop/rnb, to frequencies, instrumental, subliminal and calming music.

(of course i still listen to some bangers time to time, or when i’m with my friends, but i feel a change with how i feel)

nature and sunlight

spending time in both nature and sunlight boosts our mood, reduce stress, and promotes our well being.

nature encourages mindfulness and calmness, so this connection can help our time alone more peaceful and restorative.

nature walks and hikes became one of my favourite times to spend by myself.

i really make the conscious effort to take in my surroundings, be present and show my gratitude towards what i see and feel.

physical activity

physical activity has many benefits for us – it can boost our mood, help reduce stress, promotes self confidence and improve our mental health.

physical movement releases endorphins, so this alone time can become a form of self care and healing during your journey.

you need to find the ways you enjoy to move your body to genuinely enjoy this time spent with yourself.

i recommend engaging in a form of physical exercise / activity for around 30 minutes atleast once a day.

examples of physical activity can include: walks, hikes, gym, running, swimming, cycling, dancing, pilates, yoga, team sport, kickboxing, ect.

work / life balance

having a work/life balance is so crucial as it reduces stress, creates a space for self care, and not to mention, prevents burnout.

when you prioritise your personal time you are nurturing your wellbeing, and this can create peace and comfort in your solitude.

you don’t want to be spending too much time with others, as you don’t want to become co-dependent whilst healing from your trauma.

but you also don’t want to spend too much time alone that you isolate or distance yourself from others that are trying to help you.

you need to find that balance that works best for you in your journey.

don’t force or rush being okay by yourself

make sure you don’t rush the process of learning to enjoy and your own company as you don’t want to put unnecessary pressure on yourself.

give yourself the time for gradual healing to find peace at your own pace.

also make sure to treat yourself when you feel like it – don’t feel guilty for getting something for yourself every once in a while.

it will be uncomfortable at first, fighting against what is normal to you and stepping out of comfortability, but it will get better within time.

create habits and routines

creating healthy habits and routines can provide structure and stability within our life, which helps reduce uncertainty and stress.

shaving solid routines built into your life can support your emotional well being and help you feel secure and more at ease while healing.

also, knowing what you are doing during your day helps reduce potential distractions that may sway you to not doing anything and getting bored.

enjoy getting ready

enjoy your time getting ready and make it fun!

not only does this sets a positive tone for the day, but it also fosters self care, gives a confidence boost and makes you feel good.

i found this helped me feel grounded and comfortable in my own company, which ultimately supported my healing journey.

prioritise your hygiene, play music and sing, dance around, laugh, wear what makes you happy – just enjoy this time of getting ready.

engage in self compassion and self love / care

self compassion and self love can help reduce self criticism, promote emotional well being, and build a positive relationship within.

honestly, self compassion was game changing when it came to feeling comfortable and at peace when healing from trauma in my own company.

it allows you to form a deep understanding and connection with yourself,

this enables you to know how to make yourself feel better when you are down or struggling and you know how to care for yourself.

i really struggled with self compassion, so i created a full article on ways to engage in self compassion and the benefits of it, here.

setting realistic goals and systems to reach them

setting goals and building systems to reach them helps provide us structure, builds personal development and can reduce stress.

having long term goals and short term systems to reach them, can keep you determined in the present time and enjoy the journey you’re on.

this makes it easier to feel at peace and comfortable, as you are actually enjoying your time spent alone to work on these ambitions of yours.

celebrate yourself

make sure to celebrate yourself, your wins and your accomplishments – nothing is ‘too small’.

by doing so you are showing self appreciation, and this helps maintain a positive mindset and encouragement to continue on.

it also helps you recognise your progress (which can be hard to see in this fast paced world), and creates a sense of pride and contentment.

this is very important during our healing journeys as we are taking notice of the achievements and positive things we are doing.

make sure to practise gratitude

gratitude helps immensely with developing a positive mentality, by focusing on the positives in your day.

practicing gratitude shifts your focus to the positive aspects in life, fostering a sense of genuine appreciation and contentment.

it helps reduce negative thoughts, reframe challenges, and increases emotional resilience.

i have an in-depth article on how gratitude is powerful on our trauma healing journeys here if you’d like to learn more.

journaling

this is a powerful way to release any emotions or thoughts, process them to gain clarity, and develop self awareness.

journaling is a great way to keep track of your progress, pick up on patterns and reflect on what you are experiencing – internally and externally.

it provides a safe space to express yourself, making it easier to feel comfortable in your own company during your healing journey.

here are 10 deep journal prompts for trauma healing that are free to download.

i also have an in-depth article on how journaling is powerful if you would like to read more.

take breaks

rest and relax at times and please, don’t feel guilty for it!!

taking breaks to rest and relax helps prevent burnout, reduces stress, and promotes our emotional healing.

you are giving yourself time to recharge, refocus, and approach challenges with a clear mind.

taking time for you

make sure you are taking time to engage in the things you love, that makes you feel good and feel your best.

engaging in activities you love nurtures your well being, boosts your mood and fosters self connection.

go to a safe place, away from any distractions and external influences and sit with yourself to ask yourself what you truly enjoy and love.

doing things that make you feel good helps you focus on positive experiences, which can create joy and fulfilment in solitude.

create safe and comfortable spaces

creating safe and comfortable spaces when we are healing is essential.

these spaces provide a sense of security and peace, that allow us to be comfortable, vulnerable and feel relaxed and at ease.

they promote emotional safety, helping you reconnect with yourself in the time spent alone in your healing journey.

also please know that safe spaces don’t have to be physical spaces, it’s where you are free to express yourself without judgment or fear.

safe spaces can include: a physical place (bedroom, beach, park, ect), a supportive friend or person, an object (weighted blanket, teddy, ect), a specific sound or smell.

embracing solitude

we need to rebuild our understanding of solitude.

think of solitude as a way to recharge and reconnect, where we are giving ourself space for self reflection, peace, and personal growth.

embracing the time spent alone allows you to connect with yourself, reflect, and process emotions without distractions or external influences.

this helps with finding peace and comfortability in your own company by creating space for growth and care, which supports your healing journey.

set healthy boundaries

this requires identifying your boundaries, setting them by communicating within yourself and with others and then sticking to them.

setting healthy boundaries is a form of self care.

you are protecting your time, energy and well being for the people and things that are most important to you.

this fosters self respect and strengthens your sense of control, which both can help you feel more comfortable in your own company.

i have an in-depth article on learning to set healthy boundaries after trauma here if it is something you would like to learn.

positive inner voice and self talk

along with self compassion, developing and maintaining a positive inner voice and self talk can reduce negative thoughts and build confidence.

make sure to nurture a supportive mindset, as it is important to know you are your biggest supporter during your healing journey.

step out of your comfort zone

make sure to step out of your comfort zone and push yourself to be adventurous and a little spontaneous at times.

these help you build resilience, learn new skills, embrace new experiences, overcome fear and create room for growth.

this makes you feel empowered on your healing journey and easier to enjoy your own company.

invest time into your future dreams, ambitions and career

investing time into your future dreams, ambitions, and career choices, provides a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and direction.

it helps you focus on growth, build self confidence, and gives you excitement and something to look forward to.

my most valued time i spend alone is when i am working on my future and chasing my dreams.

it makes you appreciative of solitude, plus the feelings you feel when you prove yourself wrong is just unmatched.

how to be happy in solitude – the takeaways

focus on self compassion, self care, and personal growth while learning to be happy and comfortable in your own company while healing from trauma .

start by setting healthy boundaries, creating routines, and participating in activities that bring you joy, (hobbies, exercise, mindfulness, hikes, ect).

prioritise developing positive self talk, and make sure to engage in self reflection.

take the time to rest and recharge when you feel you need it and make sure to celebrate every small accomplishment to build your confidence.

retrain your brain to understand solitude is a safe space for healing, growth, and self discovery.

with time, you will develop a deeper sense of peace and self acceptance, making it easier to enjoy and be happy in your own company.

you are amazing 🤍

i wish you all the best on your journey – i believe in you.

-mao

don’t give trauma the power to control you, you deserve to live how you want. take control of your trauma.

-life advice from one survivor to another