*trigger warning* in this poem there is discussion of body dysmorphia, mental health problems and insecurities. please read at your own discretion

i hate i don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.

i’m proud of who i am, but on the outside i just can’t win.

my insides are beauty, and as pure as can be,

but when i look at myself, that i can’t see.

mirrors are the deadliest weapons there are,

because the reflection just shows me lines and scars.

i wish i didn’t care as much as i do,

i like to say i don’t, but that is not true.

i want to be confident and not have to worry,

but whenever i look, i just feel sorry.

sorry for the painting my brain paints of me,

i want to be happy, but i can’t guarantee.

everything will get better within time,

but having to wait feels like a crime.

one i can’t escape no matter how hard i try.

so for now, i’ll just look and cry.

–

i get so excited when she looks at me.

because we share the beauty she can see.

she’s been looking now for quite awhile,

maybe she’s figuring out her next style.

but now she’s undressing and starting to inspect,

i hope she’s realising she is perfect.

why are tears coming to her eyes?

now i’m watching her let out her cries.

we are staring at each other in a different way.

i wish i could take her pain away.

pain she doesn’t need to feel.

everyone can see she is unreal.

i wish i could reach out to show her her beauty,

but I can’t, because that is not my duty.

so for now i just stand and disagree,

till the day she looks at me and sees what i see

   -mirror 

2023

-mao

don’t give trauma the power to control you, you deserve to live how you want. take control of your trauma.

-life advice from one survivor to another

you are amazing 🤍